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Warning: Visiting Your Local Arboretum WILL Make You Feel Poor

We all know you’re insecure about the lack of foliage in your dwelling.

So why visit an Arboretum? Well, besides the abundance of inspiration you can draw when planning your perfect garden, it’s the perfect place to go and pay homage to your local millionaires. Plenty of plaques are sprinkled throughout the lawns with dedications to loved ones. Even whole buildings! Wouldn’t it be nice if you could do something like that for your mother? She’d probably love you more if you did.

Also, I learned very quickly that you cannot buy any plants to take home. Have fun!

About the Author

Caleb Perez Avatar

24 responses to “Warning: Visiting Your Local Arboretum WILL Make You Feel Poor”

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    You sound poor.

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    I pissed here.

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About the Founder

Dinky Binky

Binky Dinky spent their formative years navigating the wreckage of a broken home where the only constant was the sound of slamming doors and empty bottles. By twenty, he was homeless in Las Vegas, trading half-written poems for cheap synthetic highs and floor space in windowless motels. Those blurry, neon-soaked years resulted in a hefty 35 year sentence in a Bangkok prison, an experience that eventually culminated in him being a co-founder of Perezwastaken.com. Today, he lives in a self-imposed exile, reviewing news articles, short stories and refusing to speak to anyone who doesn’t understand how hard it is to close those pesky ads on Grindr.